Thursday, September 20, 2007

Lugholes #2

The setting: A conference meeting in Zurich on computational models in astrophysics. It's the end of the third day and the discussion section on the presented talks has just started.

Chair: So today's results can be summed up as "Your simulations suck!".

Audience member: Don't you mean, "Our simulations suck!"?

Chair: No, no, I mean your simulations suck!

Audience member: Okay. Just so long as we clarify that.

And so begins a debate on one of the oldest topics in the world; are girls really better than boys? Oh, wait, no, I mean the other longest debate... particle codes or grid codes?

[An hour later]

Chair: So what we're really saying is it's all the observers' fault?

[Mass cheering]

Thursday, September 6, 2007

deja vu

Elizabeth: Excuse me, do you sell marzipan?
Supermarket assistant: Um. What exactly is that?

*sigh* I think we've been here before. I didn't attempt icing sugar.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Live and learn

It was the labor day of the undead. Until the early evening, the campus had been eerily quiet, like something out of '28 days later'. Not a soul moved, except at Starbucks which was operating as normal. Now, finally, students were braving the outside, hoping the zombies had all left. Either that, or they'd just rolled out of bed. As I walked across campus, I spotted a figure on a skateboard heading towards me. Since the road he was going down was not on much of a gradient, he was slaloming across its whole width to keep momentum. 'Hmm' (I thought) 'that looks somewhat dangerous. Oh well, I guess you live and learn.' As the student came into clearer focus, however, I noticed his arm was in a plaster caste. So I guess, sometimes, you just don't.