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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Gasoline

This post is particularly aimed at my American friends who have had to suffer through my complaints about US news broadcasting (too vindictive), US health system (too expensive) and US alligators (too many teeth) and how it (news / health / teeth) would never happen in Europe.

[At a petrol station in Leicester, UK. My Mum fills up the car and then goes to pay inside.]

Me: "Can't we just swipe the credit card and zoom off?"

Mum: "No, most petrol stations don't have that. We have to go and pay inside."

Me: "Bah."

[Inside a shop]

Me: "They don't bag our groceries for us? We've got to pack it all up ourselves?"

Mum: "Start packing."

Me. "BAH."

[Later still]

Me: "I need to use the bathroom."

Mum: "I don't think there are public toilets here."

Me: "This would never happen in America."

Mum: "Do you want dinner?!"

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The postdoc who never wanted to grow up

Adviser: Are you generally applying for faculty jobs?

Me: No. I really don't want a faculty position, so there seemed no point in submitting an application since I'd still turn it down in favour of a postdoc.

Adviser: Well, you say you'd turn it down *now*, but if you got a competitive faculty job at a research university ...

Me: ... I'd be mad to turn it down?

Adviser: You'd be mad to turn it down.

Me: So I shouldn't apply. My logic is impeccable.