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Thursday, March 1, 2012

Indecent questioning


"Why didn't you get married?"

You know, it wasn't so much the question that bothered me, but the tense. Namely, the fact it was in the past. Quite clearly the message was:

"Why didn't you get married when you had the chance, since now you're waaaaaay over the hill so there's no point in even CONSIDERING it at your age."

Frankly, I'm somewhat indifferent to the prospect of marriage. It's expensive, divorce doubly so and I just downright hate the idea of having to move any of my books to make room for someone else's lesser tomes.

BUT. That wasn't the point.

I looked down at the five year old as she sucked on her special curly straw the waiter at the Italian restaurant had brought with her drink. I should mention, this was the SAME 5 YEAR OLD who insisted on looking at a leaflet on complications with wisdom teeth extractions while I was in the dental waiting room waiting to have mine taken out. Basically, I deeply regret this child learning to talk. She was also going to get a way cooler dessert than me.

I debated what my reply should be. I contemplated telling her that marriage was hardly a requirement in today's society. That men were inferior beings with bad taste in books. Or pointing out that her mum was divorced and contemplating turning the coal bunker into a burial chamber for her dad, so really it led to nothing but hard work in crime concealment. I thought about saying I preferred women, furries, anime characters or her dessert, that a piece of paper wasn't necessary to prove you loved someone, that I was too young for marriage and no one under 85 knew enough to consider it, that marriage often led to children and she was currently THE LIVING EXAMPLE OF WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO GO DOWN THAT ROUTE.

Fortunately at that moment my dinner arrived. It was fettuccine with sausage. I speared a small sausage, smiled and bit down.

"I just haven't met the right person yet."

16 comments:

  1. Talking children are wildly overrated.

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    1. Seriously. I prefer them when they just gurgle and you can show interest while talking to someone else.

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  2. We always wondered why we bothered teaching ours to talk - we couldn't get a word in edgewise for the next 18 years. Precocious children who talk are definitely the worst. Take a prize for self control, cool and excellent pasta choices ...

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    1. I had memories of my parents telling me I was a chatterbox. But, upon hearing your statements, I've decided to delete them from my memory and pretend I was silent until I was 8.

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  3. Since I was a single mother before I got married, I used to tell people that I had the child first and then got to pick the perfect father! Go ahead and use that one if you want!! Great post.

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    1. Nice! I like the whole concept right down to the excuse.

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  4. "I just downright hate the idea of having to move any of my books to make room for someone else's lesser tomes." I nominate this as the best Relationship Remark of the year.

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    1. Do not underestimate my devotion to Harry Potter.

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  5. Little girls still equate brides with fairy princesses.
    I am a long time married. Love my man, he gives me plenty of space.
    It is probably the reason we are still married

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    1. Hmm yes, I guess it's the flowing white dress. But really, it's not like they could keep it clean ...

      Space sounds like a key to success!

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  6. Talking children are so over rated. Mine has taken up requesting a sibling. Often and loudly. See? THEY RECRUIT. Nothing but trouble.

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    1. He's totally gonna regret that. Like, siblings are cool for 5 minutes.

      Then?

      No.

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  7. I WILL FIND YOU A JAPANESE HUSBAND. Then we can double date every day and have themed dinner parties. I AM SO DESPERATE FOR A FRIEND IN SAPPORO!!!!!! Can I set you up with someone??? Can i find someone??? DONT YOU KNOW SOMEONE?!??! Work harder!
    This is completely against the point of this post, i realize this and semi-apologise.
    i also apologise for the use of !!! and?!?!?, it was too much

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    1. You have made me spit tea over my keyboard. For making me laugh at ill opportune moments you are very much to blame!

      You know... I don't *actually* have to be seeing anyone for us to be friends. Also, I'm not opposed to being set up with some hot JPop star, but my Japanese is so completely not really there that this might present a problem. Or maybe it just means I should focus on looks and not personality, since it'll be an age before I find out about the second... Could be my most successful relationship ever ;-)

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  8. when are you back in sapporo? are you back? mail me!
    wow. slowww down, sarah

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    1. One more week! So long as neither me nor my cat get locked up in quarantine at Narita.

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